Things I’ve Learned.

tumblr_mdy6olzcqL1r4s4cuo1_500Exactly one year after starting my blog, it seems somewhat appropriate to publish a few of the most important lessons that I have learned and confirmed in these past 12 months.

1. I can watch a sunset on my own.

Watching a sunset on your own reminds you of your presence on this earth, without it having to be shared with anyone else. It reminds you that there is something bigger than us in this universe, because it doesn’t get tangled up in the candyfloss clouds of love that cushion you as you appreciate something beautiful with a loved one.

2. Maktub. It is written.

Everything happens for a reason. Accept it. Destiny is a force. But remember that life is like driving a manual car. Americans would have no need for so many self-help books if they would learn to drive stick and catch onto the following analogy. In life we have to strike a balance to move forward. Much like finding the biting point when driving a car, one much learn to let things go, to be at peace and accepting of the things that one struggles with, whilst also remaining strong, resilient and persistent. You have to find the biting point between being peaceful and strong. This is the basis from which we can progress, making good, healthy decisions. The most successful people I know are those who accept fate as a force, but who work hard and use their faith to keep themselves motivated.

3. Discipline is a good thing.

Without discipline there is no direction. Self-discipline is a way of self-control that does not have to be excessive. In fact, the whole point of discipline is to protect us from anything in excess. In the purest form it is what helps us to do the hard things that are better for us in the long run. It is what makes us stick to what we are training for, through the sweat and tears, and pushes us through to improvement. A disciplined individual is to be admired.

4. Imagination is the key to positivity.

A creative imagination is indispensable when it comes to creating a positive outlook on life. Children have these untethered imaginations that run away further than most adults do. This is why so much more seems possible for children. Dreams are in colour, games have meaning and nothing is too complicated to get fixed. Having a healthy imagination makes you good at improvisation, which means you are less likely to get stuck somewhere that you don’t want to be for too long. You know those people who overflow with ideas whenever they are confronted with problems? Logic can get you out of straight forward stitches, but your imagination will have you flying out of the ones that look like they are closing in on you.

5. Read the signs.

Take your time. Look for the red light and listen to the alarm bells ringing. Go with your instinct and that gut feeling. Signs are like a language that one has to practice throughout life in order to become fluent. You can waste a lot of time and energy by denying the obvious, ignoring the hints, warnings and nudges in the right direction. Follow the path that leads you to peace by listening and understanding the energy that surrounds you

6. Love is not enough.

But it is very nice and usually free.

7. Family matters most.

Even if they disappoint you or drive you crazy. That is family.

8. Do not say anything that you do not mean.

Empty threats make you look desperate and manipulative.

Insults can be forgiven but not forgotten.

Broken promises lead to trust issues.

9. Lying is generally perceived as the worst thing you can do.

Ever. This includes general deception and lying to yourself. Owning up to your wrongdoing saves you from adding lying to the list. Being ‘two-faced”, “fake” or “fronting” will just land you with the wrong crowd and attract bad energy.

10. Let people be honest with you.

Listen and be forgiving and number 9 should start happening less to you. If you are accepting of people and their mistakes you allow them the room to own up to them and grow in order to change. Know where to draw the line so that it is possible for them to get in the box and open up to you, without them thinking they can repeat the same mistakes again without consequence.

11. Look after yourself.

Clean bedsheets, warms baths/showers, decent meals and regularly treating yourself to underwear in your favourite colours are all things that you can and should make time for.

12. Have faith in their potential.

But don’t fall in love with it.

13. Know what makes you happy.

Start with the little things. Identify what makes you smile so that you can reach for it in times of need. Whether it be the guilty pleasure of singing Adele on karaoke, eating Nutella with a spoon or rearranging your shoes collection, knowing what brings you happiness is to know the better side of yourself.

14. Don’t make unnecessary comparisons.

Comparisons reduce what we are comparing to what they are in relation to one another, not allowing us to fully appreciate them on your own terms. Whilst comparisons allow us to familiarise, prioritise and understand what we are dealing with, it is important to try and be objective and open-minded, not chained down to a way of thinking that is restricted to what we have experienced and already know.

15. Accept who you are.

This includes but is not restricted to: Your name, birthplace, age, sexuality, parents, heritage, ethnicity, physical appearance, economic status, flaws, qualities, what have you. Accept the now and plan to improve and work with what you have in the future.